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| Our 30-day old Askal or Aspin puppy. :) |
Friday, September 25, 2015
Friday, February 21, 2014
Friday, September 21, 2012
Sunday, September 02, 2012
Masterpiece when doing nothing ^_^
I clicked on MS Paint and just scribbled any thing that comes on my mind. Remember the days when you can create a picture message on a Nokia mobile phone? Since I cannot use my phone at work, I thought of creating these things on MS Paint instead. ^_^
I hope you enjoy it and try it with yourself as well. It is really very entertaining! haha! :D
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| This was my first masterpiece drawn on 01/07/2007. |
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| And this was the next on 07/17/2007 before my maternity leave. Super bored! |
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| This was my inspiration. In elementary days, I was scribbling on a piece of paper and thought of creating a logo of myself. This means Beck 2. My friends and family call me as Beck-Beck. And I thought adding an even number would be cute for the logo. :) |
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| Recently, I found the time to revive this hobby. I entitled it, "Afternoon". |
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| This is entitled, "Comfort Food". Look at the croutons! :) |
There would be more to come! I'll update this blog once I have finished those little pixelated creations that I have in mind. ^_^
Have a great day ahead! :)
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Miguel Marcel's 5th Birthday Celebration
As per request of the birthday boy, he wanted to give away some goodies and fried chicken on his birthday in school (08172012). Request granted. (He already made a press release about it!) This is actually the first time he celebrated his birthday with kids. (His guests on his previous birthdays were all young at hearts!) Since this school year is also his first official preschool learning with Perpetiel Children's Development Center in Mayapa, Calamba City, Laguna, Philippines. Their class is handled by Teacher Perly Destura.
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| My Mama and the moms of Kinder-I |
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| Thank you Teacher Perly for the gift :) |
On Sunday (08192012), we went to our relatives and they also gave him a little bash! :)
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| Lola Neneng and Miguel |
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| Lola Leni and Miguel |
Happy birthday Miguel! I love you so much! :)
Wednesday, August 08, 2012
1, 2, 3, Say Cheese! :D
I'm back to post my recent pictures with family and friends. :)
It has been awhile since my last post.
I love my new template...this is very timely since the weather here in the Philippines has been continuously raining like crazy! (crazy and devastating to others since there are already numerous cities and places that are flooded right at this time.)
When it is raining, i think about different things... let's represent them through pictures! When it rains, I prefer not to go out of the house since it is very inconvenient! That is why, I am so grateful that I can easily access and use these wonderful technologies that will keep me sane on a rainy week/month.
Please stay safe and warm, wherever you may be. Take care every one! ^_^
Carpe Diem!
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Friday, September 09, 2005
Monday, May 02, 2005
WELCOME TO COÑOTICA
by Christian R. Vallez
Welcome, mga friends, to Coñotica-an academic community na built on the foundations of liberal education at corporate culture. Yup. This is Coñotica. Ang ideal place kung saan ipe-prepare ka for the corporate world!
Coñotica is an academic institution na where two of its goals is to make-turo the corporate culture and to make us gawa community development. Of course, siyempre, marami pang pillars ang Coñotica pero two lang ito sa maraming goals.
Pero wait lang. Bago ka maka make martsa sa graduation from Coñotica, you must learn the wika. Kasi, you know, ang language ng coñotica ang number one feature nito. Ito ang magiging primary tool to make you handa to face the real world.
Kailangan mong ma-master ang wika ng Coñotica? Why? It is the only way para ma-bridge natin ang gap ng corporate world at ng real world. Hmm. Medyo bomalabs ba? Can't make-kita huh? Gan'to 'yan. Kasi the corporate world uses English bilang language niya. Language kasi yan ng mga elitists lalo na ang mga rich di ba? Duh?! Where ka nakakita ng corporate level na meeting in Tagalog? That is so third world!
Meanwhile, sa real world, kung saan the students of Coñotica needs to apply the community development, Tagalog ang linggo. At hindi lang basta tagalog! It's street language or salitang-kanto. So how are we gonna make-ugnay the corporate world and the real world?
Tada! That is where papasok ang lengguahe ng Coñotica! Hindi lang siya simple Taglish. Hybrid siya ng Taglish, Elitist, English at salitang-kanto. And iyan ang minimake-aral ng mga estudyante ng Coñotica!
How very noble! Nagmake-imbento ang Coñotica ng isang exclusive language para ma make-ugnay ang corporate world at ang poor. In that way, magagawa na nila ang community development. Because somehow, the students can make-intindi to the poor the ideas of the corporate world through the language.
Ngayon, let me give the basics of the language. You know, it is very easy actually. It is very similar to Jessica Zafra's icoñography.
First, try mo na i-end o i-start ang sentence with a -ly word. Tulad ng actually, basically, at primarily, essentially, at iba pa.
For example: Actually, you've made her kwento na that e!
Second, i-insert mo in as many instances as possible ang the word like. Madalas, kadikit ito ng phrase na you know!
Example: Like you know...when you like...ask someone...like a teacher...how to like...for example...like...
Pangatlo is the use of the verb phrase make. Ito ang one of the important features ng language. To do this, kelangang maytagalog verb after the word make. Minsan, inuulit ang tagalog word, minsan hindi. Actually, depende yon sa length ng word.
Halimbawa: Can you make-paalam naman for me. Inuulit: Eeek! Can you make-apak-apak the ipis o!
Of course, onomatopoeic words are pwede: I have to go! My driver's making me pot-pot na!
Religious din ang language na ito because in most cases lalo na pag excited ang students, they always pray: My God! Nakita mo yung crush ko? He was making kaway na kanina to me; Oh my God! I'm bagsak na naman sa math test!; at pag irritated sa seatmate: God! Will you stop making me kalabit?
Lastly, pag naubusan na ng words or examples and stuff, you can use the words things, stuff, something, at pasukan mo ulit ng you know. Halimbawa ay...uhm...ah...basta you know like...uhm...stuff and things like...something like...ah...wala akong maisip eh. Basta something like that.
Ayan, you can now survive Coñotica and fulfill your roles in community development. Mas madali na nating i-fulfill ang roles natin as tulay to the poor. Wag mong kalimutang i-add ang basic icoñography na jake, pare, ijo de, whaw, sheht at coño. Pag namaster mo na ang lahat ng ito, pwede ka nang mag make martsa and be liberally educated Coñotica student ready to face the corporate world!
by Christian R. Vallez
Welcome, mga friends, to Coñotica-an academic community na built on the foundations of liberal education at corporate culture. Yup. This is Coñotica. Ang ideal place kung saan ipe-prepare ka for the corporate world!
Coñotica is an academic institution na where two of its goals is to make-turo the corporate culture and to make us gawa community development. Of course, siyempre, marami pang pillars ang Coñotica pero two lang ito sa maraming goals.
Pero wait lang. Bago ka maka make martsa sa graduation from Coñotica, you must learn the wika. Kasi, you know, ang language ng coñotica ang number one feature nito. Ito ang magiging primary tool to make you handa to face the real world.
Kailangan mong ma-master ang wika ng Coñotica? Why? It is the only way para ma-bridge natin ang gap ng corporate world at ng real world. Hmm. Medyo bomalabs ba? Can't make-kita huh? Gan'to 'yan. Kasi the corporate world uses English bilang language niya. Language kasi yan ng mga elitists lalo na ang mga rich di ba? Duh?! Where ka nakakita ng corporate level na meeting in Tagalog? That is so third world!
Meanwhile, sa real world, kung saan the students of Coñotica needs to apply the community development, Tagalog ang linggo. At hindi lang basta tagalog! It's street language or salitang-kanto. So how are we gonna make-ugnay the corporate world and the real world?
Tada! That is where papasok ang lengguahe ng Coñotica! Hindi lang siya simple Taglish. Hybrid siya ng Taglish, Elitist, English at salitang-kanto. And iyan ang minimake-aral ng mga estudyante ng Coñotica!
How very noble! Nagmake-imbento ang Coñotica ng isang exclusive language para ma make-ugnay ang corporate world at ang poor. In that way, magagawa na nila ang community development. Because somehow, the students can make-intindi to the poor the ideas of the corporate world through the language.
Ngayon, let me give the basics of the language. You know, it is very easy actually. It is very similar to Jessica Zafra's icoñography.
First, try mo na i-end o i-start ang sentence with a -ly word. Tulad ng actually, basically, at primarily, essentially, at iba pa.
For example: Actually, you've made her kwento na that e!
Second, i-insert mo in as many instances as possible ang the word like. Madalas, kadikit ito ng phrase na you know!
Example: Like you know...when you like...ask someone...like a teacher...how to like...for example...like...
Pangatlo is the use of the verb phrase make. Ito ang one of the important features ng language. To do this, kelangang maytagalog verb after the word make. Minsan, inuulit ang tagalog word, minsan hindi. Actually, depende yon sa length ng word.
Halimbawa: Can you make-paalam naman for me. Inuulit: Eeek! Can you make-apak-apak the ipis o!
Of course, onomatopoeic words are pwede: I have to go! My driver's making me pot-pot na!
Religious din ang language na ito because in most cases lalo na pag excited ang students, they always pray: My God! Nakita mo yung crush ko? He was making kaway na kanina to me; Oh my God! I'm bagsak na naman sa math test!; at pag irritated sa seatmate: God! Will you stop making me kalabit?
Lastly, pag naubusan na ng words or examples and stuff, you can use the words things, stuff, something, at pasukan mo ulit ng you know. Halimbawa ay...uhm...ah...basta you know like...uhm...stuff and things like...something like...ah...wala akong maisip eh. Basta something like that.
Ayan, you can now survive Coñotica and fulfill your roles in community development. Mas madali na nating i-fulfill ang roles natin as tulay to the poor. Wag mong kalimutang i-add ang basic icoñography na jake, pare, ijo de, whaw, sheht at coño. Pag namaster mo na ang lahat ng ito, pwede ka nang mag make martsa and be liberally educated Coñotica student ready to face the corporate world!
Friday, March 25, 2005
bunso(nice story)
Isa-isa kong binuklat ang mga albums sa lumang bahay. Nakakaaliw rin palang balikan ang nakaraan. Bakit nga ba hindi ko ito isinama sa bagahe ko noon? Yan tuloy, di ako nakapag-"reminisce" ng nakaraan ko sa loob ng halos sampung taon. Naku, madami-dami ka rin palang litrato dito. Simula ba naman pagkapanganak sa akin e, nandun ka na sa tabi ko. Dalawang taon ang tanda mo sa akin kaya itinuring kitang isang kababata, kaibigan at kapatid noon. Pero nagbago ang lahat nang mangimbang bansa kami noong anim na taon pa lang ako.
Ang sayang isipin na kahit mga bata pa lang tao noon ay nagsusulatan na tayo. Naaalala ko pa noon, "bunso" ang tawag mo sa akin at "kuya" ang tawag ko sa yo. Sabi ng Mommy, ulila lang daw tayo pareho sa kapatid. Pareho kasi tayong nag-iisang anak. Siyempre, dumating yung araw na pakonti na ng pakonti ang sagutan natin sa mga sulat. Hanggang sa hindi na tayo nagsusulatan. Tinamad na rin ako noon dahil madami naman akong naging kaibigan sa Tate. Nagulat na lang ako isang araw ng tumawag ka sa bahay. Ibang-iba na ang boses mo kaya malamang marami na ring nagbago sa yo. Labing-apat na taon ka noon at tumawag ka para ibalitang may girlfriend ka na. Sabi mo, gusto mo ako yung unang makaalam kasi ako ang nag-iisang bunso mo. Tuwang-tuwa ako noon para sa yo pero mas natuwa ako dahil naaalala mo pa rin pala ako. Lumipas ang ilan pang taon hanggang sa pagdiriwang ko ng ika-labingwalo kong kaarawan. Nagpasya si Mommy na dito na lang ako sa Pilipinas mag-celebrate at dito na rin daw ako mag-aral ng kolehiyo. Ang saya-saya ko noon dahil makikita na ulit kita. Pakiramdam ko pa'y nagtatalon ka nung ibinalita ko yon sa yo. Sinabi mo pa na ikaw ang escort ko sa gabing yon. Pumayag naman ako.
Nagkita muli tayo sa gabi na ng kaarawan ko. Kahit dalawang linggo na ko noon sa bansa, sabi mo susurpresahin mo ako sa kaarawan ko kaya hindi ka nagpapakita sa akin. Ibang-iba ka na talaga. Halos hindi nga kita nakilala e. binatang-binata ka na at lalo kang gumuwapo sa kislap ng mga mata mo. Nagulat ka rin noong makita mo ako. Hindi ko pa nga nakakalimutan yung sinabi mo sa akin noon, "Dapat pala bantayan na kita. Masyado kang nagpaganda doon sa Tate ha! Baka mamaya lokohin ka dito ng kung sino diyan." Napangiti lang ako. At simula noon, naging "close" uli tayo.
Pinilit kong makapasok sa unibersidad kung saan ka nag-aaral. Gusto ko kasing lagi kitang makasama dahil natatakot pa akong makiharap sa mga tao dito. Para akong paranoid na ayaw malalapitan ng kahit sino kundi ikaw lang. Iniwan ako ng aking mga magulang dahil marami silang kailangang asikasuhing negosyo doon. Pero ayokong manirahan sa bahay namin na maid lang ang kasama. Kaya napagkasunduan ng Mommy ko at Mommy mo na sa inyo na muna ako tumira hanggang sa pagpasyahan kong tumira sa bahay namin. Sabi mo pa, mas magiging masaya yun dahil parang magiging ganap mo na akong kapatid. Natuwa rin ako dahil mas komportable akong nandiyan ka lang lagi sa tabi ko.
Lalo lang tayong nagkalapitan ng loob. Ayokong bigyang malisya pero minsan, gusto kong isipin na ang paghahawak natin ng kamay, pag-akbay mo sa akin at pagyakap mo sa akin ay hindi lang turing kaibigan o turing kapatid lamang. Madalas pa nga noon idadahilan kong nagtitipid ako ng allowance kaya hindi ako makapagpa-gas. Kaya ayun, ihahatid mo ako at hihintayin sa hapon. Kahit na may girlfriend ka pa noon, ako pa rin ang priority mo. Nakakatuwa di ba? Sabi mo kasi, "bunso" mo ako.
Hindi ko na namalayan noon pero unti-unti ng nahulog ang loob ko sa yo. Tinatanong pa ba yun? E ganun naman lagi ang ending. Siyempre, hindi ko naman alam ang nararamdaman mo para sa akin. Babae ako. At kahit may pagkaliberal na ang pag-iisip ng mga tao noon, wala pa rin akong guts to make the first move. Naging kuntento na lang ako sa piling mo habang tinuturing mo akong isang kapatid. Minsan nagseselos ako kapag may girlfriend ka pero wala naman akong magagawa, di ba?
Noong graduating ka na, junior naman ako. Lumipat ka kasi ng school kaya nahuli ka ng isang taon. Madalas e sa bahay na ako natutulog noon. Siyempre, matagal na rin akong nakapag-"adjust" dito kaya nahihiya na rin ako sa Mommy mo. Pero hindi ko noon makakalimutan nung kumatok ka sa bahay namin ng madaling araw na. Nag-aaral pa ako noon kaya gising na gising pa ako. Hindi ka naman lasing o kahit amoy alak ay hindi rin. Ang bango mo pa nga at nakapantulog ka na. Sabi mo, tutulungan mo akong mag-aral dahil alam mong nahihirapan ako sa subject na yon. Na-"touch" ako sa yo nung gabing yon. Nag-aalala ka pa nga dahil malapit ng mag-alas kuwatro ng umaga pero sabi ko naman ay hapon pa ang pasok ko kaya ayos lang na magdamag akong gising. Nung mapansin mo na inaantok na ako, binuhat mo ako papunta sa kuwarto ko. Nagulat ako pagkagising ko dahil doon ka na pala natulog sa sofa sa loob ng kuwarto ko. Pagkabangon ko sa kama, kinumutan kita at ginawan pa kita ng almusal sa baba. Nagpasalamat ka at hinalikan mo ako sa noo sabay yakap sa kin. Pakiramdam ko noon matutunaw na ako sa pagkakatayo ko. Ang sarap kasi ng pakiramdam.
Simula noon, paminsan-minsan ay sa bahay ka na natutulog. Lalo na kapag madaling araw ka na nakakauwi. Ayos lang naman sa akin yun na kahit may dalawa pang bakanteng kuwarto e doon ka pa nakikitulog sa sofa sa kuwarto ko. Siyempre, mas masayang matulog habang pinagmamasdan kita. Para na akong nasa langit noon. Ang babaw ko pero totoo.
Pagka-graduate mo, hindi ka pa rin nagbabago. Di mo pa rin nakakalimutang dumalaw sa akin at lagi ka pang may dala-dalang pasalubong. Lagi akong inaasar noon ng mga kabarkada ko. Nagtampo pa nga sila minsan dahil akala nila may boyfriend na ko at ikaw ang tinutukoy nila. Ang "sweet" daw kasi natin kapag magkasama tayo. "PDA" pa nga daw kung minsan e. Sa totoo lang, I've been keeping myself constantly available for you. Lahat na ng suitors ko e binasted ko dahil gusto ko, kapag nanligaw ka sa kin e libreng-libre ako. Pero sa tinagal-tagal, hindi mo naman ako nililigawan. Kaya nagtatampo ako sa yo pero wala naman akong magagawa e.
Nagulat ako isang araw ng makita ko sina Mommy at Daddy sa bahay. Oo nga, bumibisita sila tuwing Christmas, tuwing summer vacation at tuwing birthday ko pero wala namang okasyon non kundi ang papalapit kong graduation. Ang sabi kasi nila, hindi sila makakauwi para sa graduation ko pero nakakatuwang isiping naroon sila tatlong araw bago ang pagtatapos ko. Parehong maaliwalas ang mga mukha nila dahil may dala daw silang magandang balita para sa akin. Pero naiyak ako pagkasabi nila sa balita. Nagdahilan na lang akong "tears of joy" ang mga luhang tumulo mula sa mga mata ko. Sabi kasi nila, may sigurado na akong mapapasukang kumpanya sa tate. Malaki kaagad ang starting salary ko pero hindi ko gusto ang ideyang yon. Malalayo kasi ulit ako sa yo.
Kinabukasan, halos buong araw akong naghihintay sa bahay niyo. Hindi ka daw kasi umuwi nung gabing yon. Nag-aalala na nga ang Mommy mo pati na rin ako,pinag-alala mo. Nakatulog ako noon sa sa salas niyo at nang nagising ako ng madaling araw ay may kumot na ako at nakita kitang natutulog sa lapag, may hawak-hawak pang bote ng beer. Dali-dali kitang ginising noon at kumuha pa nga ako ng palanggana na may maligamgam na tubig at pamunas para punasan ka.
Tinabig mo ang palanggana at niyakap mo ako. Sinabi mong galit ka sa akin kaya naglasing ka lang buong araw. Sinabi mong hindi mo alam ang gagawin mo kapag nawala pa ako sa piling mo. Sinabi mo rin na nawala ka sa wisyo nung oras na pagkasabi ng Mommy na aalis ako pagka-graduate ko. Sinabi mo rin na mahal mo na kasi ako. Umiiyak ka pa nga habang sinasabi mo ang mga iyon. Hindi ko noon alam kung ano ang gagawin ko. Naramdaman ko nang nakatulog ka na sa balikat ko pero nanatili akong gising.
Gusto kong sabihin sa yo na mahal din kita pero naduwag ako. Buong buhay ko kasi, lagi lang nakasunod sa kagustuhan ng aking mga magulang. Nasanay siguro ako ng hindi nagdedesisyon para sa sarili ko. Nasanay ako na iasa sa iba ang karapatan kong magdesisyon para sa kagustuhan ko. Siguro nga, kahit malapit na akong mag-22 years old noon, hindi pa rin ako gaanong ka-mature para panindigan ang mga desisyon ko. Habang nakatulala ako sa kawalan at habang natutulog ka sa balikat ko, iniisip ko kung paano ko sasabihin sa mga magulang ko na hindi ako tutuloy. Na kaya kong magtagumpay dito sa Pilipinas. Na hindi ko gugustuhin pang umalis dahil alam kong magiging masaya na ako sa piling mo. Ang hindi ko maintindihan e kung bakit bigla akong tumayo at tumakbo pauwi sa amin. At sa kuwarto ko, nag-iiyak, nagbasag ng ilang mga bagay, nagtatapon ng mga libro at sinira ang mga tinago kong sulat mo. Siguro natakot lang ako. Siguro duwag lang talaga ako.
Mula nung hapong iyon ay hindi na ulit kita nakita. Pinilit kong iwasan ang pagdaan sa harap ng bahay ninyo para hindi rin kita maalala. Kailangan ko kasing ngumiti sa araw ng pagtatapos ko. Sa totoo lang, para akong windang na nakatunganga sa mga speakers at honor students habang inaalala ko pa rin ang mga sinabi mo. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin ko kinabukasan. Nakaimpake na lahat ng gamit ko. Ayos na lahat ng papeles ko. Pagkatapos ng maikling salu-salo mamayang gabi, matutulog na lang ako at gigising kinabukasan at maghahanda para sa flight ko. O, di ba, planado na lahat. Pero masaya ba ako?
Napakalaking pagkakamali ng nagawa kong pag-alis noon. Kahit na pinupuri nila akong lahat dahil sa tagumpay ko, umiiyak naman ako dahil hindi lubos ang kaligayahan na nadarama ko. Sampung taon kong tiniis na huwag umuwi ng Pilipinas. Lagi ko na lang sinasabi kina Mommy na marami akong ginagawa o di kaya'y wala akong panahon para sa bakasyon. Sampung taon din akong gumigising araw-araw ng luhaan o di kaya'y nakasimangot pagharap sa salamin. Sampung taon akong nagdusa dahil sa pagmamahal ko sa yo. Sampung taon akong umasang isang araw ay masasabi ko sa yo na mahal din kita. Pero sampung taon mo pala akong pinilit kalimutan. Sampung taon kang naghinanakit dahil akala mo iniwan kita. Akala mo... hindi kita mahal.
Kaya lang ako ngayon napauwi ng bansa dahil sa sulat mo. Unang sulat mo ito sa sampung taong pagtira ko sa ibang bansa. Pero hindi lang basta sulat ito, imbitasyon sa kasal mo.
Ngayon, basang-basa na ang mga litrato sa lumang photo album dito sa lumang bahay. Napaiyak kasi ako sa mga ala-alang ibinalik ng mga litratong ito. Ngayon ko lang naiiyak yung sakit na nadama ko nung natanggap ko ang imbitasyon mo. Hindi ko nga alam kung dapat ba akong magpakita sa kasal mo.Hindi ko alam kung bakit pa ako umuwi ng bansa. Sana pala nanatili na lang ako doon. At least, kung nandoon ako, hindi mo makikita ang mga luhang ito.Hindi mo malalamang minsan, at magpahanggang ngayon e minamahal kita. Hindi mo na nga siguro dapat malaman pa. Mananatili na lang akong nakababatang kapatid mo. Tutal, yun naman ang nakalagay sa sulat mo di ba? "To my Bunso"... habang buhay na lang akong "Bunso" mo.
"Bunso" attended the wedding to congratulate her "Kuya". He drove her to the airport the next day and before she went out of the car, she told him she still loves him. A tear fell from his eye as he told her "The only reason why I married my bride is because she was your closest resemblance." --a true story of my Aunt (an old maid) and her "Kuya" (who passed away last month)
Isa-isa kong binuklat ang mga albums sa lumang bahay. Nakakaaliw rin palang balikan ang nakaraan. Bakit nga ba hindi ko ito isinama sa bagahe ko noon? Yan tuloy, di ako nakapag-"reminisce" ng nakaraan ko sa loob ng halos sampung taon. Naku, madami-dami ka rin palang litrato dito. Simula ba naman pagkapanganak sa akin e, nandun ka na sa tabi ko. Dalawang taon ang tanda mo sa akin kaya itinuring kitang isang kababata, kaibigan at kapatid noon. Pero nagbago ang lahat nang mangimbang bansa kami noong anim na taon pa lang ako.
Ang sayang isipin na kahit mga bata pa lang tao noon ay nagsusulatan na tayo. Naaalala ko pa noon, "bunso" ang tawag mo sa akin at "kuya" ang tawag ko sa yo. Sabi ng Mommy, ulila lang daw tayo pareho sa kapatid. Pareho kasi tayong nag-iisang anak. Siyempre, dumating yung araw na pakonti na ng pakonti ang sagutan natin sa mga sulat. Hanggang sa hindi na tayo nagsusulatan. Tinamad na rin ako noon dahil madami naman akong naging kaibigan sa Tate. Nagulat na lang ako isang araw ng tumawag ka sa bahay. Ibang-iba na ang boses mo kaya malamang marami na ring nagbago sa yo. Labing-apat na taon ka noon at tumawag ka para ibalitang may girlfriend ka na. Sabi mo, gusto mo ako yung unang makaalam kasi ako ang nag-iisang bunso mo. Tuwang-tuwa ako noon para sa yo pero mas natuwa ako dahil naaalala mo pa rin pala ako. Lumipas ang ilan pang taon hanggang sa pagdiriwang ko ng ika-labingwalo kong kaarawan. Nagpasya si Mommy na dito na lang ako sa Pilipinas mag-celebrate at dito na rin daw ako mag-aral ng kolehiyo. Ang saya-saya ko noon dahil makikita na ulit kita. Pakiramdam ko pa'y nagtatalon ka nung ibinalita ko yon sa yo. Sinabi mo pa na ikaw ang escort ko sa gabing yon. Pumayag naman ako.
Nagkita muli tayo sa gabi na ng kaarawan ko. Kahit dalawang linggo na ko noon sa bansa, sabi mo susurpresahin mo ako sa kaarawan ko kaya hindi ka nagpapakita sa akin. Ibang-iba ka na talaga. Halos hindi nga kita nakilala e. binatang-binata ka na at lalo kang gumuwapo sa kislap ng mga mata mo. Nagulat ka rin noong makita mo ako. Hindi ko pa nga nakakalimutan yung sinabi mo sa akin noon, "Dapat pala bantayan na kita. Masyado kang nagpaganda doon sa Tate ha! Baka mamaya lokohin ka dito ng kung sino diyan." Napangiti lang ako. At simula noon, naging "close" uli tayo.
Pinilit kong makapasok sa unibersidad kung saan ka nag-aaral. Gusto ko kasing lagi kitang makasama dahil natatakot pa akong makiharap sa mga tao dito. Para akong paranoid na ayaw malalapitan ng kahit sino kundi ikaw lang. Iniwan ako ng aking mga magulang dahil marami silang kailangang asikasuhing negosyo doon. Pero ayokong manirahan sa bahay namin na maid lang ang kasama. Kaya napagkasunduan ng Mommy ko at Mommy mo na sa inyo na muna ako tumira hanggang sa pagpasyahan kong tumira sa bahay namin. Sabi mo pa, mas magiging masaya yun dahil parang magiging ganap mo na akong kapatid. Natuwa rin ako dahil mas komportable akong nandiyan ka lang lagi sa tabi ko.
Lalo lang tayong nagkalapitan ng loob. Ayokong bigyang malisya pero minsan, gusto kong isipin na ang paghahawak natin ng kamay, pag-akbay mo sa akin at pagyakap mo sa akin ay hindi lang turing kaibigan o turing kapatid lamang. Madalas pa nga noon idadahilan kong nagtitipid ako ng allowance kaya hindi ako makapagpa-gas. Kaya ayun, ihahatid mo ako at hihintayin sa hapon. Kahit na may girlfriend ka pa noon, ako pa rin ang priority mo. Nakakatuwa di ba? Sabi mo kasi, "bunso" mo ako.
Hindi ko na namalayan noon pero unti-unti ng nahulog ang loob ko sa yo. Tinatanong pa ba yun? E ganun naman lagi ang ending. Siyempre, hindi ko naman alam ang nararamdaman mo para sa akin. Babae ako. At kahit may pagkaliberal na ang pag-iisip ng mga tao noon, wala pa rin akong guts to make the first move. Naging kuntento na lang ako sa piling mo habang tinuturing mo akong isang kapatid. Minsan nagseselos ako kapag may girlfriend ka pero wala naman akong magagawa, di ba?
Noong graduating ka na, junior naman ako. Lumipat ka kasi ng school kaya nahuli ka ng isang taon. Madalas e sa bahay na ako natutulog noon. Siyempre, matagal na rin akong nakapag-"adjust" dito kaya nahihiya na rin ako sa Mommy mo. Pero hindi ko noon makakalimutan nung kumatok ka sa bahay namin ng madaling araw na. Nag-aaral pa ako noon kaya gising na gising pa ako. Hindi ka naman lasing o kahit amoy alak ay hindi rin. Ang bango mo pa nga at nakapantulog ka na. Sabi mo, tutulungan mo akong mag-aral dahil alam mong nahihirapan ako sa subject na yon. Na-"touch" ako sa yo nung gabing yon. Nag-aalala ka pa nga dahil malapit ng mag-alas kuwatro ng umaga pero sabi ko naman ay hapon pa ang pasok ko kaya ayos lang na magdamag akong gising. Nung mapansin mo na inaantok na ako, binuhat mo ako papunta sa kuwarto ko. Nagulat ako pagkagising ko dahil doon ka na pala natulog sa sofa sa loob ng kuwarto ko. Pagkabangon ko sa kama, kinumutan kita at ginawan pa kita ng almusal sa baba. Nagpasalamat ka at hinalikan mo ako sa noo sabay yakap sa kin. Pakiramdam ko noon matutunaw na ako sa pagkakatayo ko. Ang sarap kasi ng pakiramdam.
Simula noon, paminsan-minsan ay sa bahay ka na natutulog. Lalo na kapag madaling araw ka na nakakauwi. Ayos lang naman sa akin yun na kahit may dalawa pang bakanteng kuwarto e doon ka pa nakikitulog sa sofa sa kuwarto ko. Siyempre, mas masayang matulog habang pinagmamasdan kita. Para na akong nasa langit noon. Ang babaw ko pero totoo.
Pagka-graduate mo, hindi ka pa rin nagbabago. Di mo pa rin nakakalimutang dumalaw sa akin at lagi ka pang may dala-dalang pasalubong. Lagi akong inaasar noon ng mga kabarkada ko. Nagtampo pa nga sila minsan dahil akala nila may boyfriend na ko at ikaw ang tinutukoy nila. Ang "sweet" daw kasi natin kapag magkasama tayo. "PDA" pa nga daw kung minsan e. Sa totoo lang, I've been keeping myself constantly available for you. Lahat na ng suitors ko e binasted ko dahil gusto ko, kapag nanligaw ka sa kin e libreng-libre ako. Pero sa tinagal-tagal, hindi mo naman ako nililigawan. Kaya nagtatampo ako sa yo pero wala naman akong magagawa e.
Nagulat ako isang araw ng makita ko sina Mommy at Daddy sa bahay. Oo nga, bumibisita sila tuwing Christmas, tuwing summer vacation at tuwing birthday ko pero wala namang okasyon non kundi ang papalapit kong graduation. Ang sabi kasi nila, hindi sila makakauwi para sa graduation ko pero nakakatuwang isiping naroon sila tatlong araw bago ang pagtatapos ko. Parehong maaliwalas ang mga mukha nila dahil may dala daw silang magandang balita para sa akin. Pero naiyak ako pagkasabi nila sa balita. Nagdahilan na lang akong "tears of joy" ang mga luhang tumulo mula sa mga mata ko. Sabi kasi nila, may sigurado na akong mapapasukang kumpanya sa tate. Malaki kaagad ang starting salary ko pero hindi ko gusto ang ideyang yon. Malalayo kasi ulit ako sa yo.
Kinabukasan, halos buong araw akong naghihintay sa bahay niyo. Hindi ka daw kasi umuwi nung gabing yon. Nag-aalala na nga ang Mommy mo pati na rin ako,pinag-alala mo. Nakatulog ako noon sa sa salas niyo at nang nagising ako ng madaling araw ay may kumot na ako at nakita kitang natutulog sa lapag, may hawak-hawak pang bote ng beer. Dali-dali kitang ginising noon at kumuha pa nga ako ng palanggana na may maligamgam na tubig at pamunas para punasan ka.
Tinabig mo ang palanggana at niyakap mo ako. Sinabi mong galit ka sa akin kaya naglasing ka lang buong araw. Sinabi mong hindi mo alam ang gagawin mo kapag nawala pa ako sa piling mo. Sinabi mo rin na nawala ka sa wisyo nung oras na pagkasabi ng Mommy na aalis ako pagka-graduate ko. Sinabi mo rin na mahal mo na kasi ako. Umiiyak ka pa nga habang sinasabi mo ang mga iyon. Hindi ko noon alam kung ano ang gagawin ko. Naramdaman ko nang nakatulog ka na sa balikat ko pero nanatili akong gising.
Gusto kong sabihin sa yo na mahal din kita pero naduwag ako. Buong buhay ko kasi, lagi lang nakasunod sa kagustuhan ng aking mga magulang. Nasanay siguro ako ng hindi nagdedesisyon para sa sarili ko. Nasanay ako na iasa sa iba ang karapatan kong magdesisyon para sa kagustuhan ko. Siguro nga, kahit malapit na akong mag-22 years old noon, hindi pa rin ako gaanong ka-mature para panindigan ang mga desisyon ko. Habang nakatulala ako sa kawalan at habang natutulog ka sa balikat ko, iniisip ko kung paano ko sasabihin sa mga magulang ko na hindi ako tutuloy. Na kaya kong magtagumpay dito sa Pilipinas. Na hindi ko gugustuhin pang umalis dahil alam kong magiging masaya na ako sa piling mo. Ang hindi ko maintindihan e kung bakit bigla akong tumayo at tumakbo pauwi sa amin. At sa kuwarto ko, nag-iiyak, nagbasag ng ilang mga bagay, nagtatapon ng mga libro at sinira ang mga tinago kong sulat mo. Siguro natakot lang ako. Siguro duwag lang talaga ako.
Mula nung hapong iyon ay hindi na ulit kita nakita. Pinilit kong iwasan ang pagdaan sa harap ng bahay ninyo para hindi rin kita maalala. Kailangan ko kasing ngumiti sa araw ng pagtatapos ko. Sa totoo lang, para akong windang na nakatunganga sa mga speakers at honor students habang inaalala ko pa rin ang mga sinabi mo. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin ko kinabukasan. Nakaimpake na lahat ng gamit ko. Ayos na lahat ng papeles ko. Pagkatapos ng maikling salu-salo mamayang gabi, matutulog na lang ako at gigising kinabukasan at maghahanda para sa flight ko. O, di ba, planado na lahat. Pero masaya ba ako?
Napakalaking pagkakamali ng nagawa kong pag-alis noon. Kahit na pinupuri nila akong lahat dahil sa tagumpay ko, umiiyak naman ako dahil hindi lubos ang kaligayahan na nadarama ko. Sampung taon kong tiniis na huwag umuwi ng Pilipinas. Lagi ko na lang sinasabi kina Mommy na marami akong ginagawa o di kaya'y wala akong panahon para sa bakasyon. Sampung taon din akong gumigising araw-araw ng luhaan o di kaya'y nakasimangot pagharap sa salamin. Sampung taon akong nagdusa dahil sa pagmamahal ko sa yo. Sampung taon akong umasang isang araw ay masasabi ko sa yo na mahal din kita. Pero sampung taon mo pala akong pinilit kalimutan. Sampung taon kang naghinanakit dahil akala mo iniwan kita. Akala mo... hindi kita mahal.
Kaya lang ako ngayon napauwi ng bansa dahil sa sulat mo. Unang sulat mo ito sa sampung taong pagtira ko sa ibang bansa. Pero hindi lang basta sulat ito, imbitasyon sa kasal mo.
Ngayon, basang-basa na ang mga litrato sa lumang photo album dito sa lumang bahay. Napaiyak kasi ako sa mga ala-alang ibinalik ng mga litratong ito. Ngayon ko lang naiiyak yung sakit na nadama ko nung natanggap ko ang imbitasyon mo. Hindi ko nga alam kung dapat ba akong magpakita sa kasal mo.Hindi ko alam kung bakit pa ako umuwi ng bansa. Sana pala nanatili na lang ako doon. At least, kung nandoon ako, hindi mo makikita ang mga luhang ito.Hindi mo malalamang minsan, at magpahanggang ngayon e minamahal kita. Hindi mo na nga siguro dapat malaman pa. Mananatili na lang akong nakababatang kapatid mo. Tutal, yun naman ang nakalagay sa sulat mo di ba? "To my Bunso"... habang buhay na lang akong "Bunso" mo.
"Bunso" attended the wedding to congratulate her "Kuya". He drove her to the airport the next day and before she went out of the car, she told him she still loves him. A tear fell from his eye as he told her "The only reason why I married my bride is because she was your closest resemblance." --a true story of my Aunt (an old maid) and her "Kuya" (who passed away last month)
Friday, December 24, 2004
a blessed christmas to all!:)
wow! christmas once again...and you know what?! this is my first christmas away from home...:( badtrip kasi may work ako...:( well somehow for me, its a nice experience that once in my life i felt the loneliness of spending christmas like this... i had the chance to look back on the days i spent w/my family and realized how much i value them and how important they are to me that even sacrificing my own happiness would be just fine for their own sake...parang ganto un na feel ko nun first time akong mag dorm?!..as in kahit gustong gusto ko nang umuwi e hindi naman pwede?!..haaay whatever drama ko nanaman...wala lang share lang mga friends..:) enjoy celebrating christmas with your loved ones (speaking of "loved ones" kainis hindi ko nabuo simbang gabi!..my wish won't come true..i guess, its really never meant for me :c)of course remember the true meaning of the season, so...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!:)
that's all for now...
lovelots,
-beck-
wow! christmas once again...and you know what?! this is my first christmas away from home...:( badtrip kasi may work ako...:( well somehow for me, its a nice experience that once in my life i felt the loneliness of spending christmas like this... i had the chance to look back on the days i spent w/my family and realized how much i value them and how important they are to me that even sacrificing my own happiness would be just fine for their own sake...parang ganto un na feel ko nun first time akong mag dorm?!..as in kahit gustong gusto ko nang umuwi e hindi naman pwede?!..haaay whatever drama ko nanaman...wala lang share lang mga friends..:) enjoy celebrating christmas with your loved ones (speaking of "loved ones" kainis hindi ko nabuo simbang gabi!..my wish won't come true..i guess, its really never meant for me :c)of course remember the true meaning of the season, so...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!:)
that's all for now...
lovelots,
-beck-
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
Vindicated
by: Dashboard Confessional
Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine of it has caught my eye
And roped me in
So mesmerizing, and so hypnotizing
I am captivated,
I am...
[Chorus]
Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself
So clear
Like the diamond in your ring
Cut to mirror your intention
Oversized and overwhelmed
The shine of which has caught my eye
And rendered me so isolated, so motivated
I am certain now that I am...
[Chorus]
So turn
Up the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my finger tips
Trace the moment, fall forever
Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I'd be in
Too deep now to ever swim against the current
So let me slip away [3x]
So let me slip against the current
So let me slip away [4x]
[Chorus]
Like hope
Dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption...
by: Dashboard Confessional
Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine of it has caught my eye
And roped me in
So mesmerizing, and so hypnotizing
I am captivated,
I am...
[Chorus]
Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself
So clear
Like the diamond in your ring
Cut to mirror your intention
Oversized and overwhelmed
The shine of which has caught my eye
And rendered me so isolated, so motivated
I am certain now that I am...
[Chorus]
So turn
Up the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my finger tips
Trace the moment, fall forever
Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I'd be in
Too deep now to ever swim against the current
So let me slip away [3x]
So let me slip against the current
So let me slip away [4x]
[Chorus]
Like hope
Dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption...
YOU FIRST BELIEVED by Hoku
How many times did I pray
You'd find me
How many wishes on a star
Gazing off into the dark
Dreaming I'd see your face
Safe at home unafraid
Captured in your embrace
So many times
When my heart was broken
Visions of you
Would keep me strong
You were with me all along
Guiding my every step
You are all that I am
And I'll never forget
It was you who first believed
In all that I was made to be
It was you looking in my eyes
You held my hand
And showed me life
And I've never been the same
Since you first believed
There were times
When I'd thought I'd lost you
Fearing forever was a dream
But it wasn't what it seemed
Placing your hand in mine
You could see in the dark
You were guiding my heart
It was you who first believed
In all that I was made to be
It was you looking in my eyes
You held my hand
And you showed me life
And I've never been the same
Since you first believed
How many times did I pray
You'd find me
How many wishes on a star
How many times did I pray
You'd find me
How many wishes on a star
Gazing off into the dark
Dreaming I'd see your face
Safe at home unafraid
Captured in your embrace
So many times
When my heart was broken
Visions of you
Would keep me strong
You were with me all along
Guiding my every step
You are all that I am
And I'll never forget
It was you who first believed
In all that I was made to be
It was you looking in my eyes
You held my hand
And showed me life
And I've never been the same
Since you first believed
There were times
When I'd thought I'd lost you
Fearing forever was a dream
But it wasn't what it seemed
Placing your hand in mine
You could see in the dark
You were guiding my heart
It was you who first believed
In all that I was made to be
It was you looking in my eyes
You held my hand
And you showed me life
And I've never been the same
Since you first believed
How many times did I pray
You'd find me
How many wishes on a star
Thursday, September 09, 2004
LOSER
by Beck
In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey
Butane in my veins so I'm out to cut the junkie
With the plastic eyeballs, spray paint the vegetables
Dog food skulls with the beefcake pantyhose
Kill the headlights and put it in neutral
Stock car flamin' with a loser and the cruise control
Baby's in Reno with the vitamin D
Got a couple of couches asleep on the love seat
Someone keeps sayin' I'm insane to complain
About a shotgun wedding and a stain on my shirt
Don't believe everything that you breathe
You get a parking violation and a maggot on your sleeve
So shave your face with some mace in the dark
Savin' all your food stamps and burnin' down the trailer park
Yo cut it
Soy un perdedor
I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?
Double-barrel buckshot
Soy un perdedor
I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?
Forces of evil in a bozo nightmare banned all the music with a phony gas chamber
Cos one's got a weasel and the other's got a flag
One's got on the pole shove the other in a bag
With the rerun shows and the cocaine nose job
The daytime crap of a folksinger slob
He hung himself with a guitar string
Slab of turkey neck and it's hangin' from a pigeon wing
You can't write if you can't relate
Trade the cash for the beef for the body for the hate
And my time is a piece of wax fallin' on a termite
Who's chokin' on the splinters
Soy un perdedor
I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?
Get crazy with the cheeze whiz
Soy un perdedor
I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?
Drive-by body pierce
Yo bring it on down I'm a driver,
I'm a winner
Things are gonna change,
I can feel it
Soy un perdedor
I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?
I can't believe you!
Soy un perdedor
I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?
Sprechen sie deutsche, baby
Know what I'm saying?
Friday, August 13, 2004
Marketing
People often ask for an explanation of Marketing.Perhaps the following analogies will help clear it up:
You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."That's Direct Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, "She's fantastic in bed."That's Advertising.
You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."That's Telemarketing.
You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You get up and, straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I," and reach up to straighten his tie brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."That's Public Relations.
You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed." -That's Brand Recognition.
You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You talk him into going home with your friend.That's a Sales Rep.
Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.That's Tech Support.
You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So you climb onto the roof of one situated toward the center and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!"That's Spam.
People often ask for an explanation of Marketing.Perhaps the following analogies will help clear it up:
You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."That's Direct Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, "She's fantastic in bed."That's Advertising.
You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."That's Telemarketing.
You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You get up and, straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I," and reach up to straighten his tie brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."That's Public Relations.
You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed." -That's Brand Recognition.
You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You talk him into going home with your friend.That's a Sales Rep.
Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.That's Tech Support.
You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So you climb onto the roof of one situated toward the center and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!"That's Spam.
Thursday, June 24, 2004
STORIES!!!!!!Ü
"Whose closet?"
> A woman takes a lover home during the day while her
husband is at work.
> her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees
them and hides in the
> bedroom
> closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes
home. She puts her
> lover in
> the
> closet, not realizing that the little boy is in
there already.
> The little boy says, "Dark in here." The man says,
> "Yes, it is."
> Boy - "I have a baseball."
> Man - "That's nice."
> Boy - "Want to buy it?"
> Man - "No, thanks."
> Boy - "My dad's outside."
> Man - "OK, how much?"
> Boy - "$250"
> In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy
and the lover are
> in
> the
> closet together.
> Boy - "Dark in here."
> Man - "Yes, it is."
> Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
> The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy,
> "How much?"
> Boy - "$750"
> Man - "Sold."
> A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab
your glove, let's
> go
> outside
> and have a game of catch. The boy says, "I can't, I
sold my baseball
> and my
> glove." The father asks, "How much did you sell them
for?"
> Boy -"$1,000"
> The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your
friends like
> that...that is
> way more than those two things cost. I'm going to
take you to church
> and
> make
> you confess."
> They go to the church and the father makes the
little boy sit in the
> confession
> booth and he closes the door.
> The boy says, "Dark in here."
> The priest says, "Don't start that shit again,
you're in my closet now"
> ----
NEXT...
> A group of kindergarteners was trying to become
accustomed to first
> grade.
> The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher
insisted on no baby
> talk.
> "You need to use 'big people' words," she'd always
remind them. She
> asked
> Wendy what she had done on the weekend.
> "I went to visit my Nana."
> "No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use big
people words!"
> She then asked Joey what he had done. "I took a ride
on a choo-choo."
> She said, "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. Use big
people words."
> She then asked Eddie what he had done. "I read a
book," he replied.
> "That's wonderful," the teacher said. "What book did
you read?"
> Eddie thought about it, then puffed out his chest
with great pride and
> said, "Winnie the SHIT."
> ----
LAST ONE...
> A Filipino parked his brand-new BMW in front of his
office building,
> ready
> to
> show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a
truck passed too close
> and
> completely tore off the door on the driver's side.
>
> The Filipino immediately grabbed his cell
phone,dialled the police, and
> within
> minutes a policeman pulled up. Before the policeman
had a chance to ask
> any
> questions, the Filipino started screaming
hysterically as some of his
> office
> colleagues reached the scene too. His BMW, which he
had just picked up
> the
> day
> before, was now completely ruined and would never be
the same, no
> matter
> what
> the body shop did to it.
>
> When the Filipino finally calmed down from his
ranting and raving, the
> policeman
> shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't
believe how
> materialistic
> you
> Filipino people are," he said. "You are so focused
on your possessions
> that
> you
> don't notice anything else." "How can you say such
a thing? asked the
> Filipino.
>
> The policeman replied, "Don't you know that your
left arm is missing
> from
> the
> elbow down? It must have been torn off when the
truck hit you."
> "Oh My God!" screamed the Filipino. "Where's my
Rolex?"
....TSKTSKTSK...
-THE END-
"Whose closet?"
> A woman takes a lover home during the day while her
husband is at work.
> her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees
them and hides in the
> bedroom
> closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes
home. She puts her
> lover in
> the
> closet, not realizing that the little boy is in
there already.
> The little boy says, "Dark in here." The man says,
> "Yes, it is."
> Boy - "I have a baseball."
> Man - "That's nice."
> Boy - "Want to buy it?"
> Man - "No, thanks."
> Boy - "My dad's outside."
> Man - "OK, how much?"
> Boy - "$250"
> In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy
and the lover are
> in
> the
> closet together.
> Boy - "Dark in here."
> Man - "Yes, it is."
> Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
> The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy,
> "How much?"
> Boy - "$750"
> Man - "Sold."
> A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab
your glove, let's
> go
> outside
> and have a game of catch. The boy says, "I can't, I
sold my baseball
> and my
> glove." The father asks, "How much did you sell them
for?"
> Boy -"$1,000"
> The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your
friends like
> that...that is
> way more than those two things cost. I'm going to
take you to church
> and
> make
> you confess."
> They go to the church and the father makes the
little boy sit in the
> confession
> booth and he closes the door.
> The boy says, "Dark in here."
> The priest says, "Don't start that shit again,
you're in my closet now"
> ----
NEXT...
> A group of kindergarteners was trying to become
accustomed to first
> grade.
> The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher
insisted on no baby
> talk.
> "You need to use 'big people' words," she'd always
remind them. She
> asked
> Wendy what she had done on the weekend.
> "I went to visit my Nana."
> "No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use big
people words!"
> She then asked Joey what he had done. "I took a ride
on a choo-choo."
> She said, "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. Use big
people words."
> She then asked Eddie what he had done. "I read a
book," he replied.
> "That's wonderful," the teacher said. "What book did
you read?"
> Eddie thought about it, then puffed out his chest
with great pride and
> said, "Winnie the SHIT."
> ----
LAST ONE...
> A Filipino parked his brand-new BMW in front of his
office building,
> ready
> to
> show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a
truck passed too close
> and
> completely tore off the door on the driver's side.
>
> The Filipino immediately grabbed his cell
phone,dialled the police, and
> within
> minutes a policeman pulled up. Before the policeman
had a chance to ask
> any
> questions, the Filipino started screaming
hysterically as some of his
> office
> colleagues reached the scene too. His BMW, which he
had just picked up
> the
> day
> before, was now completely ruined and would never be
the same, no
> matter
> what
> the body shop did to it.
>
> When the Filipino finally calmed down from his
ranting and raving, the
> policeman
> shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't
believe how
> materialistic
> you
> Filipino people are," he said. "You are so focused
on your possessions
> that
> you
> don't notice anything else." "How can you say such
a thing? asked the
> Filipino.
>
> The policeman replied, "Don't you know that your
left arm is missing
> from
> the
> elbow down? It must have been torn off when the
truck hit you."
> "Oh My God!" screamed the Filipino. "Where's my
Rolex?"
....TSKTSKTSK...
-THE END-
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